Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Two brief notes on advertising

This political ad is awesome. Listen to the narrator mockingly quoting Healy's opponent, sounding like a twelve-year-old pretending to be mentally retarded. Not elevating the discourse, but what the hell. Vote Healy!

Also: I cannot help but note that there is now a Burger King ad where a trio of women hire a hitman to torture the king to death. I don't really have anything to say about this. It's just one of those big-time double-you tee eff moments.

Student Interpretation of Orwell's "Shooting an Elephant"

"I think the moral of the story is that if you have an animal that is not nice, you should have control over it and keep it away from other people, because if it would hurt someone than there will be problems and you could end up sued. If your animal is going to hurt someone, that person has a reason to do what they need to do to protect them. People should try to tame their pets to be nice because there is no reason to have mean animals that would hurt other people unless it's for protection."

UPDATE: Oops. Title corrected to reflect actual title of essay. I think I was somehow conflating it with The Cure's "Killing an Arab."

Monday, October 22, 2007

Great Moments in Student Film Criticism

"Movies have been around since the television has been invented. There has been so many movies made it is unreal."

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Cosmo gives you the straight dope you can't get anywhere else

"One irrefutable sign that a guy is gay--besides catching him in the act--is if he gets off on male-on-male porn." (09/07 168)

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Doris Lessing?

I can't say I'm familiar with her work. I'm sure she's a fine writer. But come ON, people. Thomas Pynchon just wrote a funny, anarchic, strongly humanistic novel. Massive, too. What's it gonna TAKE?

Still, if Lessing's still pretty together at the age of eighty-seven, it gives us hope for more literary output from The Pynch. Ganbare!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Mystifying Student Response of the Day

"This story [Richard Wright's "The Man Who Went to Chicago"] reminds me sort of like the movie "Pride and Prejudice" with Will Smith because in that movie he goes through a lot and tries so hard to get a job. In the end of the movie he gets a job and actually becomes a millionaire, in Wrights story he ends up with a job in the end, so it is a well written story."

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Weightloss Tip from Student Writing of the Day

"We all know that you do not lose weight just by eating a cretin type of food; you also have to diet and exercise."

Extra points for the semi-colon, at any rate.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Contextless Quote from Student Writing of the Day

"I think that they had this sweet look to her so that way she is not coming off as a slut while trying to promote milk."

Monday, October 01, 2007

Sandra Day O'Connor=teh suxxor

I was listening to Fresh Air earlier today, and the interview was with Jeffrey Toobin about his new book on the Supreme Court. As you can imagine, it was not a particularly cheering interview--although Toobin did relate a story in which Scalia--fuckin' Scalia!--referred to Thomas as a "nut." And if Scalia thinks you're too far to the times. Or not.

But anyway, so O'Connor: she voted the wrong way in Bush v Gore because she's a Republican and--per Toobin--she was very open about wanting our current President, inasmuch as his paw had been "her kind" of Republican. She quickly experienced buyer's remorse, but TOO FUCKING LATE. Apparently, juntas are perfectly fine and constitutional--as long as it's by the right people. Guess how much sympathy I'm feeling for her? And then, ha ha, she resigns to take care of her Alzheimer's afflicted husband. I'm sorry about his plight, but seriously? Fuck. You. Bitch. You foisted this Republic-destroying mess on us. I don't CARE about your personal life; the only way you could have even begun to make up for what you did would have been by staying on the Court and helping to staunch the flow of blood as much as possible. Husband in dire straits? Tough shit. That's just the price you PAY for your monumental failure of judgment.

Here's the best part: early in her SCOTUS career, one of O'Connor's defining moments was when she tore apart a paternalistic anti-abortion decision written by one Samuel Alito. Then, almost immediately after her resignation, her husband's condition deteriorated rapidly to the point at which he was beyond any help she could offer. So she resigned for no good reason and was replaced by the guy who so offended her back in the day. I almost feel like the irony gods are piling it on a little too thick, but really, it's fair punishment for her. It's just a shame the rest of us have to suffer with her.

Lately I'm thinking that the Supreme Court is the only really compelling reason to vote for whichever of these clowns wins the Democratic primary. I'm not saying it'll save the Republic, but it might at least slow the collapse a little. Whether you think that's something we deserve is another question.